everyday

If I wrote everyday the feelings I felt would they reach

Would the feelings stretch into every word

Would you feel the feelings hammer done on you. With. Every. Word.

would all these words be light on you

and collapse, a rain of feelings and flood of emotions

I want to sweep you away

Get lost

I want to hold you in these feelings as my memory holds me

I can’t let go of these sensations

slow roasted

No it’s not done

Continuous

No it’s not done

You’re skewered

I’m the heat

Endless and surging

I’m angry

I’m terrified

I blow smoke and bullshit

And you’re still here

Stuck here

Slow roasting

I want to burn you

But it’s slow

If I could spite hate at you I would

I’d direct all this heat at you

I’d concentrate into a blowtorch at you and crisp your hair dead

I can’t

I want to but I cant

I’d consume you whole if I could

I’d engulf you if I could

I’d enrage you if I could

I’d plant this hat into and seize to exist

I’d stop my everything to give this all to you

But I can’t

I can’t.

Slow and tender

My heat licks at you but barely touches you

I am a burner on low

I am a dollar tree lighter

I am a shitty, small, flame that will eat itself before eating anything else

Mighty in my mind wind will take me out

And you

You.

You will stay warm.

You will stay tender

Nothing will burn you

When my flames grow you weep

Juicy and small

Soft

You’ll extinguish me if you do that

Don’t weep on me

I want to stay hot